Dedicated to Henry

OMG! I just created something! I am the most creative human ever to have lived on the planet! I am the most creative human to have never lived yet in the future too! That means for you what can't follow the logic I am the most creative human ever to create with my creative creativity of creativeness!

Yes, they're back! That's right, you fuckin' heard me, Deranged Mountain Goats from Hell are back and in charge! Some of you may be wondering, Khomus old buddy, what the hell are you talking about? Just never you mind what I'm talking about, it's too good for the likes of you anyway! But I feel sorry that you all lack my godlike creativity, so I give you ... the greatest song ever in the history of humanity!

Now I know, after listening, and taking twenty hours to get yourself under control from the uncontrollable weeping and gnashing of teeth you did because you'll never be as creative as me, some of you feel the need to doubt. Some of you wanna be haters. Some of you feel the need to bring the great down to their ... those things ... you know, that you lesser mortals kneel on to worship my creativity ... those things, whatever they're called. Some of you, to take back a phrase I originated and Ayn Rand stole, hate the good because it is good. I understand, it is not easy nor comfortable to grapple with the depths of my awesomenessitude.

And those among you who doubt, who hate, who struggle, are going to say, Khomus, we still don't know what these Deranged Mountain Goats from Hell are, we've never once heard of them, and besides, it's just like electronica from the sixties. Ha! Let me explain something to you, foolish haters! I bitchslapped electronica from the sixties, kicked it out of the grave, washed it, combed its hair, cleaned it the fuck up, put it to bed, kicked its ass out of bed when I thought it had gotten enough sleep to recover from the resurrection beatdown I'd given it, and then, threw it up against the wall and kicked it in the nuts. While it was writhing around on the floor, I told it, now you listen here punk! You've been slacking off, but I'm gonna stop that right now! Get back to work!

This my friends isn't your sixties electronica with tape loops and razor blades and primitive synthesizers and ... well you get the idea. No my friends, this is lovingly made with the newest, most exciting, up-to-date modern technology available on the face of the planet! It would have taken any fifty of you twenty years of constant work to create something even approaching the complete gnarliness which I produced in ... well however long it is, five minutes, let's say, as a nice round number.

Some of you haters might even be saying, hey man, it just sounds like you were screwing around with a synthesizer. You probably don't even remember the settings you had it on and so you're lucky that your computer saved them when you saved the project so your dumb ass doesn't have to try to recreate it all again. Please! I implore you, I beg of you! Just because every single word of this is absolutely true, that's no reason not to admire and praise my infinitely fulfilling maxigrandiosinization! I mean, let's be honest with ourselves, for just a minute! Can we do that?

Some of you might even be thinking, the very lowest among you, you who crawl like worms seeking crumbs of creativity from my bountifully excessive mental banquet, that you could have done better, or even that I have surpassed the bounds of immodesty and supreme egoism, and have in fact entered into a realm of delusion so deep and self-enclosed that it is a wonder I am able to even type on this blog, let alone form coherent sentences or indeed words for you to read. Well let me just say something. Whaaaaaa! ladsjfoiwqefgio;wejglk;asnvksdnajklfhasl;ja;gaslf;djlk;asgoi! You're all meanies! Great big meanies! I am awesome and creative, I'm telling you! And ... and .. gosh darn it ... no ... no ... gods damn it, PEOPLE .... FUCKING .... LIKE .... MEE!

P.S.

Hi kids! Deranged Mountain Goats from Hell are a name I invented when I was messing around with jew's harp and effects. The recordings are aweful and shall, if I can help it never see the light of day, night, or that sort of in between state. They might see the light of a bonfire some day. Heh, nah, they weren't that bad, completely pointless, but they were experiments anyway. So was this one, I found a synth setting I liked and had at it. Now you get to hear too. As to why this is dedicated to Henry, he'd rave about every song he ever created. I figured I'd try to surpass him at his self-congratulatory craziest. He'll have to let you know how I did. Hey, everybody goes through the "I'm so awesome" phase ... except me because I can't lie to myself that much, heh! Keep on keepin' on, children of the corn.